At Last, Stepdads Worldwide Heed Dirty Harry And Log On For Help

The US-inspired Support for Stepdads initiative has gained a worldwide following, and with its valuable stories and advice, the on-line forum is finally reaching its target – men who are stepfathers.

San Jose, CA (I-Newswire) February 27, 2013 - When Gerardo Campbell reached out to men who have taken on the role of father to other men’s children, he had no expectation Support for Stepfathers would attract a burgeoning global following – or that most interest would come from women.

As the on-line community resource and forum celebrates its second birthday this month (February 2013), www.supportforstepdads.com for the first time recorded more male than female visitors when 50.32 percent of users in the 30 days to mid-February were male. While the gender split of visitors to the site has been fairly even, with female use peaking at 56 percent, the trend to more male visits pleases the dads’ support group founder.

“Of course I’m delighted that men, women and children around the world use and participate in our stepdad support group, which gives positive global messages about America’s family values, but I’m really thrilled that stepdads and stepsons are overcoming some of their gender stigmas to use our forum,” said Campbell.

Many men, he says, are stubbornly resistant to seeking help – and not only on big issues such as health and stepfamily problems. “A formal study found that American men each drive an average 276 extra miles a year when they are lost and won’t ask for directions.”

Campbell says male denial of needing help is a major contributor to the almost 70 percent failure rate of blended relationships and attributes it to four factors – Pride; Fear; Know-It-All Syndrome; and Ignorance.

Pride: Perceptions of self- power, authority and competence foster denial of problems and a delusion that life is under control, he says. “When we believe we are above needing help we may systematically alienate and even attack family, friends and others offering help.”

Fear: A debilitating aversion to appearing weak or incapable and to being disliked may prevent males from seeking help and cause them to act to please their partners or stepchildren rather than doing what they know is right. This is unhealthy and potentially disastrous, says Campbell.

Ignorance: There may be a false expectation that a blended family will function as a nuclear or traditional family, says Campbell. Also, busy stepfathers, especially those who are not web-savvy, simply may not know that resources such as Support for Stepfathers are available.

“Any one factor or combination if left unchecked can ruin a blended relationship,” said Campbell. “Stepdads should deter pain and failure by adjusting their expectations at the outset.

“As Dirty Harry said, ‘A man has got to know his limitations’ and he must address them to avoid becoming another statistic. Stepfathers do need help and they are starting to recognize it.”

With no experience as a biological father, Campbell stumbled into being a stepfather in 1995, learned from his mistakes and now shares his experiences and knowledge at supportforstepdads.com, on Facebook and through his eBooks.

He is driven to help reverse the nearly 70 percent divorce rate in stepfamilies in America, where 65 percent of all marriages involve stepchildren and one in every three citizens is member of a stepfamily.

In its two-year life, though, Support for Stepdads has achieved a global reach with more than 3.89 million hits, or 23.27 percent of almost 17 million hits in 2012, coming from outside the US, positioning the site as significant US Ambassador for the Family.